Because Jonno has been asking so often why, exactly, I love him, I've composed the following tune entitled I Love My Fiend. Well, perhaps "tune" is a little overstated. But if you sing it to "Viens, Malika" from Delibes' Lakme--you know, the ultimate lesbian aria--at least it sounds kinda funny....
Jonno is my fiend.
He is rarely mean--
Except on those extremely rare occasions when he's needing much more sleep.
He bakes for me,
Tiny cakes for me
(Though I wish he would someday maybe take the time to mop the floor).
He is so cute.
I like his snoot,
And his little foot.
Leather boot!
He's a hoot!
O! fie-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-nd!
Fie-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-nd!
It is so true that he
Loves me,
Shoves me,
Drugs me,
Snubs me....
Sooooooo,
I'm getting sick.
Tummy like a brick.
Might have som-a-thing to do with all the saccharine that I've just spewn.
It's true--
I'm through....
Blech. Believe me now fiend? };>)
And as for the rest of you: how does that make you feel?