Tuesday, September 04, 2001

I have a weakness for Nice Jewish Boys. Why? I dunno--though I admittedly find them vaguely exotic. (Remember folks, I'm from Mississippi.)

As a grad student at Tulane, of course, I was like a kid in a candy store. The lush, green campus was and is packed to the gills with Nice Jewish Boys from New Jersey, Long Island, the City. If I wasn't careful in class, my attention would inevitably drift from the prof's droning lecture to fantasies involving the underclassmen playing soccer on the quad. It was kinda like being back in junior high, having no control over my nether region. I kept my legs crossed a lot.

Anyway, I was at Kinko's the other day--ground zero for Nice Jewish Boys in chambray and khaki--and the guy at the counter caught my eye. He looked exactly like Daniel, a kid I had a crush on all those years ago: deep brown eyes, pale skin.... Mmm.

Then I got to the counter. His nametag said "Christian."

So many layers of irony. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not sure how to get to it.

Whatever, his name/religious preference wasn't a turn-off--I mean, I don't fetishize Jewishness itself. I just know my own history, the look I like. It's the same way with Italian men: I've got a long, well-established pattern of lusting after 'em. Christian was a total hottie, foreskin or not. Unfortunately, he never gave me a second glance.

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