Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Help! Does the name Carol Peril mean anything to any of you?

My friend Zod introduced me to the wonders of Carol, a bona fide trailer park resident caught on tape for legions of North Carolina ravers to admire. Watching the video of Carol's birthday celebration--at which she receives both Body Butter (her neighbor, Lucy, explains: "Aw, Carol, you rub that on your puss!") and a sperm-scented candle--was a sight to behold, made all the more terrifying because it was totally, honest-to-Yahweh for real. It was kinda like Pink Flamingos meets Big Brother. Eek.

Anyway, Zod left town about two years ago, and being the nice guy that I am, I gave him back his copy of the tape. Now, however, I'm completely distraught, 'cause I never dubbed it and I can't find Zod and I really really really want/need it. Like, now.

Anyone? ...Anyone? ...Bueller? ...Bueller? ...Bueller?

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