Monday, May 17, 2004

Dear goddess,

Let me begin by thanking you for the many things you have given me--including, but not limited to, a healthy level of melanin, a staunchly medium frame, and eyes that elicit comments like, "Well, those are interesting." You done real good.

That said, I'd like to ask you to demonstrate your kindness once again by preventing this hideous campaign from ever catching on in middle America. Please use your supernatural powers to make the citizens of this great nation understand that these ads are dated, derivative, and very, very unfunny. (It may help to remind them of Right Said Fred.) Please also use those same powers to remaind a certain creative director about a campaign for a very short-lived sandwich called the McLean, which taught us that ads which demean or belittle a product are bad for business--unless, of course, you're in the business of losing clients. In sum, we (meaning "I") want to see this campaign crashing, burning, drawn, quartered, and spat upon by 99 Croatian war widows.

Warmly,

Richard

P.S. Has anyone told you that your hair's looking especially good these days? It's true. Very flattering...

archives

May 2000   June 2000   July 2000   August 2000   September 2000   October 2000   November 2000   December 2000   January 2001   February 2001   March 2001   April 2001   May 2001   June 2001   July 2001   August 2001   September 2001   October 2001   November 2001   December 2001   January 2002   February 2002   March 2002   April 2002   May 2002   June 2002   July 2002   August 2002   September 2002   October 2002   November 2002   December 2002   January 2003   February 2003   March 2003   April 2003   May 2003   June 2003   July 2003   August 2003   September 2003   October 2003   November 2003   December 2003   January 2004   February 2004   March 2004   April 2004   May 2004   June 2004   July 2004   August 2004   September 2004   October 2004   November 2004   December 2004   January 2005   February 2005   March 2005   April 2005   May 2005   June 2005   July 2005   August 2005   September 2005   October 2005   November 2005   December 2005   January 2006   February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   December 2006   January 2007   February 2007   March 2007   April 2007   May 2007   June 2007   July 2007   August 2007   September 2007   October 2007   November 2007   December 2007   January 2008   February 2008   March 2008   April 2008   May 2008   June 2008   July 2008   August 2008   September 2008   October 2008   November 2008   December 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   May 2009   June 2009   July 2009   August 2009   September 2009   October 2009   November 2009   December 2009   January 2010   February 2010   March 2010