Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Despite its reputation as a Euro-esque party town, New Orleans is a lot like other American cities. We have a troubled public school system, boondoggled by bureaucracy and led by nincompoops. Our political officials and business leaders make weekly appearances on the evening news, talking about how we're poised to benefit from the next tech boom. And we host a thriving gay community, which has improved shoddy neighborhoods, boosted tourism, and continues to support a number of bath houses.

About that last bit: I've always wondered why lesbians don't have bath houses or sex clubs of their own. I mean, they obviously enjoy being together in all-girl environments--just as fags like me enjoy being in all-guy environments--and they like having sex. But when I picture women in erotically-charged, single-sex spaces, all that comes to mind is that absurdly funny scene in Desperate Living, where Mink Stole goes to the restroom at the strip club and gets hit on by a series of women who thrust their boobs through twin, chest-high glory holes.

So, what's the problem?

Part of it may be biological. When men finish doing the deed, they're literally spent: after climaxing, their interests shift to sleeping, eating, or shopping. They cum and go. Women, however, aren't so physiologically constrained. One of my friends--a lesbian who shall remain nameless--once joked that thanks to the female capacity for multiple orgasms and their ability to take a licking and keep on ticking, an all-girl bath house would be the human equivalent of a roach motel: girls would go in, but they'd never want to leave.

Of course, there's also the question of hetero bath houses. If straights make up 90% of the population, why don't they have more places where like-minded consenting adults can get their casual, no-strings freak on? I mean, sure, there are brothels--legal and otherwise--and there's the occasional hetero sex club, but on the whole, breeders seem to be doing a pretty crappy job in the pleasure palace department.

Luckily, things seem to be changing on the other side of the globe. Screw Pokemon--I say we import this trend.

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