Thursday, January 18, 2007

If I were normal, I'd be 36,000 feet above Virginia right now. If I were normal, I'd be knocked up on sedatives and drooling on the shoulder of a complete stranger--who, also being normal, would be too timid to shove me across the aisle, even though it would be pretty obvious that he or she was being slobbered on by a fag. Ewww.

But like I said: "if".

I arrived at the airport late thanks to some poor planning (by me) and some sloppy driving (by a guy whose car slammed sideways into a guardrail and skidded to a stop across three lanes of I-10). I rushed through security, not at all sure I'd make it, but when I arrived at the gate, the waiting area was still full of bored, listless, and occasionally irate travelers. Hooray.

That's when the problems began. That's when I had time to sit and think about my trip to New York--how pointless it was, really. How I could accomplish most of the things I wanted to accomplish from the comfort of my desk in New Orleans. How the conference in question always seems like a great idea, but inevitably devolves into a semi-vacation, only instead of bringing back cute sale sweaters for Jonno, I bring back press kits and business cards for my lateral filing cabinet.

The weather wasn't helping matters. It's miserable here, and even more miserable there: wet and rainy and cold. And of course, there are the memories of last year, which saw an eerily similar storm pattern and a life-flashing-before-eyes flight in to JFK. I'm creeping toward the Grecian Formula fast enough, thank you very much.

The big factor, though, was work--namely, the abundance of it sitting on my desk and all around my house. I really don't have time to waste on something so...well, frivolous.

So, I'm standing there with my Diet Coke (bought on the concourse for a small fortune) pondering all this, and Jonno texts me to say that our eldest hound has been howling inconsolably since I walked out the door an hour before, and that was it. Decision made, no turning back: I snapped my phone closed and headed home.

Some people are travelers. For me, it's never a good time to go.

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